Edit: I WAS CURED AFTER 22 YEARS! I had a vestibulectomy Dec. 2016. The recovery was easier for me than having sex ever was. It took about 5 weeks. I have included my recovery photos. Look for the blogpost "I'm Cured!" and "My Vestibulectomy".

I’m a great woman with a pissed-off vulva. I have “primary vestibulitis." Most people are uncomfortable discussing their genital pain in public. My hope is that my obsession to find help for myself will make your experience shorter, easier, and less painful. P.S. Recently "vestibulitis" has been renamed to "vestibulodynia."

Dysfunctional Sexual Statistics

A few statistic to share from an article titled "Strategies and Techniques for Revitalizing a Nonsexual Marriage" by Barry W. McCarthy and published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy in the fall of 1997 given to me by my husband's and my sex therapist. When sexuality is positive and integrated in a marriage, it contributes 15% to 20% of the marriage's well-being.  When sexuality is dysfunctional or not happening at all, it contributes 50% to 70% of negative emotion about a marriage. Bad sex undermines a relationship more than good sex promotes satisfaction in your coupling. Interesting disparity. This could be quite depressing, but as an optimist, I am able to turn it around and think, "Well, good sex wouldn't be doing that much for us anyway."

The research set the criterion for "bad sex" as being sexual less than 10 times a year in married or unmarried couples (probably heterosexual). By that definition, 20% of married couples and 40% of unmarried couples that have been involved for at least 2 years are in a non-sexual relationship. This can be tough on a relationship. When my husband and I meet with a new doctor for the first time, the first reaction the doctor has it to congratulate us on still being married and compliments my husband for his support and understanding. Kinda sad. I guess most couples don't make it. At least that's what the doctors say.

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